This blog took a real backseat this year, and in September I stopped altogether. But then this week I saw a click-bait/SEO opportunity with the ‘snow in Malta‘ hype and I started to get a feeling. A bloggy feeling. The Internet has a love/hate relationship with self indulgent ‘year in review’ posts but personal posts have always been my most popular and there’s nothing I like talking about more than myself, so here goes…
Off To A Bad Start
In January I discovered we have 24 hour GP services in Malta, and had the chance to compare public and private healthcare in Malta when I spent most of the month in and out of hospital and doctors offices; being kept in, monitored and going through a multitude of basic and invasive tests. Stress, a virus and a chronic condition all combined in January to pretty much break me but the public and private healthcare professionals all did an amazing job of looking after me and, one year on, I am great.
Then Seemed to get Even Worse
I moved to Malta in 2010 with my boyfriend and, whilst not being the most optimistic or romantic of people, I had always just kind of assumed that it would be forever. But then in February 2016, after six years together, came the big breakup (which I couldn’t bring myself to write about until May). If you’ve been reading my blog for a while you’ll know that I was painfully shy and suffering with anxiety and multiple neuroses, but something happened the day that he moved out. I cried a bit (well, a lot) and I carried on crying for about a week, maybe two. But very soon (much sooner than you’d imagine after six years together) I woke up and not only felt OK again but felt better. Better than I had ever felt. I felt confident, I felt excited, I felt eager.
But Ended Up Being The Best Year Ever
Then the rest of this year was spent exploring my new limits, which seemed to have basically fallen away. Not only was I no longer terrified of meeting new people; I enjoyed it. I went out and made it happen. I spent more time with the friends I’d already made and found myself accepting invites to events where I knew I’d know next to no one, just to meet new people and try new things.
My new found confidence in myself had an unexpected knock on effect at work. Perhaps a client facing job is not the natural choice for someone who is so nervous but I managed to do it well from behind a screen, but now I was smashing it. Along with my friends, the support from Catena was something else that helped make this year the best of my life so far.
2016: A Summary
This year I got sick, I got better, I got dumped, I blossomed. I saw more sunsets than ever before, I got promoted, I enjoyed Instagram the way I’d always wanted to (and by that I mean sharing food, shopping and selfies). I shopped a lot.
I discovered (good) tequila and developed a taste for champagne. I saw my best friends, Elaine and Andreas, get married and it was the most beautiful day I’d ever seen.
I travelled to Scotland, London, Amsterdam, Barcelona, Belgrade, Berlin and my hometown in Hertfordshire. I dated for the first time in my life, met some interesting characters. Realised life doesn’t have to be about settling. It’s OK to want more, to expect more. I hurt people, and realised how easy it is to do without meaning to.
In 2017 I didn’t change as a person, I became myself. I had fallen into someone else for so many years that I’d started to lose who I actually am, but having that ‘comfort zone’ (which is such a nice name for something that can be so damaging) ripped away meant I got to see who I am. And I’m pretty happy with what I found.